


Burning Skies

by ChromiumHeart



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Blowjobs, Brainwashing, Gay Poe Dameron, Grief, Kissing, M/M, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-The Last Jedi, Reconditioning, Serious Injuries, Star Wars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-04 12:55:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13365144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChromiumHeart/pseuds/ChromiumHeart
Summary: Poe Dameron finds himself in a near fatal X-Wing crash. When he wakes, he barely remembers who he is. Then he is reminded: he's the best damn pilot in the First Order.





	1. X-Wing Down

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters will be posted daily with updated warnings for any applicable chapter (future warnings for abuse and consensual smut). 
> 
> Please feel free to say hi or send me a fic request [on Tumblr](http://chromiumhearts.tumblr.com)!

It had been a rather straightforward mission. The Resistance desperately needed suppliers they could trust and Poe had established some connections in his travels. He was going to meet with his contacts, see what they could set up to keep the Resistance supplied, and then return to base. 

Well. It would have been easy if Poe had made it back as scheduled. 

Rey could feel the tension in everyone around her, as if they were afraid to take a breath too deep. She could see the concern written on the General's face as she paced, waiting for news, good or bad, about Poe's return. 

But as night fell and everyone but the night crew retired to their quarters, there was still no sign of Poe, nor any comm chatter. Rey got a sickly feeling in her stomach as she laid down in her bunk, closing her eyes and trying to shut out the world, but her worry kept her from sleeping. 

She tried reaching out, thinking that maybe, somehow, the Force might connect her and Poe together, but all she got was silent darkness. It worried her more than it should have; Poe was very capable and could survive almost anything, but when she felt only darkness, she allowed the worry to consume her. By the time dawn broke on the horizon, she had formulated a haphazard search plan that she hoped General Organa would agree to. 

As Poe left the atmospheric pull of the planet behind him, he didn't suspect anything was amiss. It was surprising that a mission had gone off without a hitch - _for once_ he thought - and without interference from the pesky First Order. Finally they would have some supplies they desperately needed to keep going; parts to fix some of the ships, food rations, and perhaps most importantly, some Corellian whiskey that Poe wanted to surprise the crew with. They'd survived a lot - _too much_ \- and everyone deserved a bit of a reward. 

He was about to sit back and set his ship to hyperdrive for the journey home when BB-8 started beeping frantically - Poe had always been a keen pilot (one of the best in the Resistance, he liked to remind people), but even this attack came too quickly, and from seemingly out of nowhere to avoid. He didn't even see an enemy fighter on the scanners, eyes sweeping the horizon quickly for any sign of what could have caused the strike. 

The X-Wing lurched forward and Poe fought for control as the impact took out an engine and sent the craft into a spin. The gravitational pull wasn't helping things along as it dragged the X-Wing back towards itself and Poe, choking on smoke in the cockpit, tried desperately to regain some kind of control. BB-8 could do little to help aside from re-routing some electrical and power supplies, which Poe hoped would keep the X-Wing from exploding on impact. 

Trying to keep calm as the ground approached far too quickly, he braced for impact. He wanted to say comforting things to BB-8 but fear gripped him as he watched the ground creep up at an alarming rate. He thought about the ones he loved and gripped his mothers ring that hung from a chain around his neck, closing his eyes as the alarms sounded. 

His body was thrown about the cockpit and his helmet met the side of it with an unforgiving smack, bringing about an immediate unconsciousness. The front of the X-Wing crumpled like a child's toy and thankfully, Poe wasn't conscious when the metal caught his leg and bit into it mercilessly, twisting and fracturing the bone. The cockpit became uncomfortably tight, the flight controls contorting inward with the force, crushing against Poe's body, immobilizing him further and breaking ribs. Cooling fluid poured from the console, and wiring smoked. A wing was shorn off and strewn from the wreckage, and BB-8 whistled and beeped concern for Poe when he didn't answer. His world went from black to grey as he floated in and out of consciousness, his body aching all over. He knew, somewhat, that he was trapped, and that he might not survive, but he couldn't keep his head up long enough to think of a way to get out. 

He laid bleeding in his broken X-Wing for untold hours until he was found in a marshy area, troopers sinking up to their knees in soft soil and moss. It was hard work pulling back the twisted metal and avoiding the sparks of the flight consoles, but somehow they managed to pull the occupant inside free, surprised when he stared up at them for a brief moment before falling unconscious again. The small squad had been sent on a reconnaissance mission, but were returning with a better prize than information; Poe Dameron himself.


	2. The Prize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: The mentioned ship the Absolution and character Captain Cardinal are from the book "Phasma" by Delilah S. Dawson. A must read for Phasma fans. <3

General Hux would have admonished the stormtroopers for tracking mud all over the Finalizer had it not been for the prize they were dragging in tow; the broken form of the Resistance pilot. One trooper followed behind, dragging the BB-unit behind them to keep some distance between them. The unit beeped and whistled its annoyance, sparking its electrical prong, but silencing when it saw the General that Poe had taunted in the past. Instead it cooed, and, realizing it could no longer help Poe, put itself into shut down mode.

Poe was in desperate need of medical attention, so Hux let the troopers pass to go to the medbay, but he wasn't far behind. He wasn't interested in the droid; not when they had Poe. 

He dismissed the troopers once the Captain was placed on a bed, and a doctor aided by his droid began to cut away the man's flight suit to deal with the injuries. 

"Well? Will he survive?" Hux asked, grimacing at the bone jutting from Poe's leg as the orange fabric was cut back. 

"Hard to say right now, General. He has massive head trauma, several broken ribs and a badly broken leg. And that's just what I can see. I will send you my reports as soon as I can." 

To that, the General nodded curtly, "See that he lives. Induce a coma, drench him in bacta, give him a prosthetic leg if you have to. He is a very valuable asset." 

With the doctors soft, "Yes, General", Hux turned to take his leave, heading to the turbo lift and down to the training floors where many of the troopers spent their days. It was easy to spot Phasma, a shining beacon in the sea of white armor, and he called to her with a simple gesture. She passed on training duties to her next in command and joined Hux at his side for a walk to a spot that was a little more private. 

"I want you to contact Captain Cardinal on the _Absolution_ and obtain the holo recordings that play in the trooper barracks at night."

Phasma raised an eyebrow behind her helmet. "Sir?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "Don't give me that look, Phasma. I want to try a little... experiment. Perhaps the Resistance's best pilot can become our own best." 

Talk of the scouts findings made their way around the ship quickly, and Phasma already knew Poe was on the ship when Hux came to see her. She was a great listener, always paying close attention to what the troopers had to say. 

Phasma shouldn't have been surprised that Hux knew the kind of faces she made at him behind the helmet; they'd known each other long enough that it was as if she never wore the armor or he could see right through it. They had been good friends ever since Hux's father had introduced the two of them; someone the other could trust with everything. 

"Do you think it will work?" She asked with a curious tilt of her head. 

Any other who questioned his motives would have been reprimanded, but not Phasma. 

"I suppose we will find out. Conditioning him while he recovers may work, but I do expect some reconditioning will be a part of it too. When you receive the holo recordings from Captain Cardinal, bring them immediately to the medbay. The doctor will know what to do." 

Phasma nodded and turned to go fulfill her orders and Hux, unable to hide the smirk from his face, stalked back to the medbay to check on progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to say hi or send me a fic request [on Tumblr](http://chromiumhearts.tumblr.com)! I live for comments and kudos too if you like what you read!


	3. Propaganda

The holo recordings of First Order propaganda were usually only used on children recruited into the Stormtrooper program as they slept in their barracks, but General Hux was never one to turn down what could prove to be an interesting opportunity. If he could successfully indoctrinate First Order beliefs into a Resistance fighter in a coma, there was a whole new word waiting to be explored. 

While Poe laid in his medically induced coma, bacta worked its magic on healing his numerous wounds. The doctor that oversaw Poe's care wasn't certain whether the man would even be able to hear the holo recordings, let alone allow it to have an effect on him, but his head had taken quite the blow in the crash. 

Poe seemed so innocent laying against the stark white sheets of his bed, curly hair splayed across the pillow. Two prominent black marks circled underneath his closed eyes, a large cut on his forehead swelled and his dry bottom lip was split down the center. The rest of his body was covered by a sheet to keep him warm, but Hux could only imagine the bloom of bruises against olive skin. He had taken it upon himself to gently clean some of the dried blood from Poe's forehead and lip. The filth bothered him as he was so prim and proper himself. Hux couldn't imagine waking up crusted with days old blood; just the thought made his skin crawl. 

Everyone involved in this undertaking was given strict orders not to inform Supreme Leader Ren about the Generals plans, and if everything went well, Hux would be the one to bring the Resistance pilot into Ren and have him kneel, pledging allegiance to him and the First Order. 

The idea of it all thrilled him, and he looked down at Poe in the medbay, unconscious to the world around him, considering the young man for a moment. Even if he woke up and the conditioning hadn't worked, there would be ways to make him obey. Hux was no stranger to torture, after all, having been on both the giving and receiving end of it. 

Hux reached up and brushed an errant curl from Poe's forehead, an unusually gentle move for a man such as him. But there was something about the pilot that Hux was drawn to - whether it was his desire to see him under First Order control or the thought of Ren brimming with joy at Hux's ability to turn enemy to ally, he didn't know. This broken pilot could be Hux's masterpiece. 

Every day Hux visited the medbay and every day he could see the pilots condition improving; the First Order was pouring supplies into him as if they were saving their most valuable asset - and he may as well be. The bones were taking some time to heal even when aided with the bacta, some of the most potent available in the market, but the injuries and bruising that marred Poe's skin slowly diminished and cuts seemed to disappear. 

Finally, the day came where the doctors deemed Poe well enough to wake up, and they invited the General in as he had requested. It took some time for the pilot to come around but when he did, he was slow moving at first. Groggy and with bleary eyes, a hand came up to rub at his face, scratching at his - beard? Did he always have that? 

Confused, he opened his eyes, taking a moment or two to adjust. His body felt heavy and his brain slow, and he was terribly disoriented. His heart rate spiked slightly with alarm and it was only when he saw all the medical devices around that he realized he was in a medbay. He felt like a crushing gravity was pushing down on him, keeping him immobilized, and the blank spaces in his brain made him panic. 

A warm hand on his shoulder was a welcome distraction, and he turned his head a little to see a slender figure with red hair at his side. The man looked imposing with unkind and hard blue eyes. Poe's eyes drifted to the jacket he wore and his rank badge. That was something his brain recognized. 

"General...?" He asked in a groggy voice. 

"Yes, Captain Dameron. Do you remember me?" Hux's tone was clipped, but not filled with malice as it usually was when speaking to the Resistance brat. 

Poe blinked several times as if searching his memories before replying. "No, I... I'm sorry, General. I don't." 

It took all Hux had to not grin. The crash had done a number on his head, after all. 

"Captain, do you remember who _you_ are?" 

A slight shrug. "No, Sir." 

Hux's heart hammered harder in his chest. "You are Poe Dameron." Hux paused for a beat, "Captain Poe Dameron. The finest pilot in the First Order." 

Poe looked up at the man with a small smile. That felt familiar. A pilot. He looked down at himself and was suddenly glad he was covered with a sheet, realizing he was only in his boxer briefs. He had never been one to be overly modest - but being an amnesiac changed things. A finger ghosted over a small patch of bruising that still hadn't quite gone away. 

"Who are you, General? And what happened?" 

Hux sat down next to Poe's bed. "My name is General Armitage Hux, you have known me for quite some time." _You've been a thorn in my side for longer than I care to mention_ , was what he wanted to say. "You were in a crash, and we were lucky we found you when we did. You are a strong man - a lesser pilot wouldn't have survived such a crash, nor the injuries." 

Poe nodded, taking everything in. His body ached and his stomach growled ferociously as he began to wake up some more. It was audible enough that even Hux picked up on the rumbling, and he knew Poe must be starving after living off of intervenous fluid. 

"I'll get someone to bring you something to eat." Hux said, standing. 

He only left briefly and let Poe alone with his muddled thoughts, trying to make sense of it all. He wondered how long it would take for everything to come back to him, and when he would be allowed back to work. He got bored easily, and he would be restless before long. 

When Hux returned, he had a cup in his hand, and a young woman was carrying a tray that she put down next to Poe's bed. A silver pouch laid on a plate, steam escaping its seams, as well as a hot cup of caf and some vitamin water. 

Poe reached for the water first, and when it hit his tongue, he realized how thirsty he was. He tried to gulp it all back but Hux's hand came to his wrist, stopping him. 

"Slowly," he warned, "You have been in an induced coma for about 9 days, and putting too much in your system too quickly will make you sick." 

Poe obeyed, much to Hux's absolute thrill, and put the water down in favor of the hot protein packet. He ate slowly, keeping Hux's words in mind, no matter how ravenous his body felt. Hux watched him as he sipped at his own caf, waiting for the moment where Poe would spring out of bed and attack him in an attempt to escape, but that never came. 

"I'll have someone come help you get showered up and shave. I'm sure you'll feel much better after that. We did what we could while you were under..." Hux explained. "The Supreme Leader will like to see you, too." 

Poe looked at the man quizzically, eyebrow raised. "Who--" 

Hux waved a hand dismissively. "Supreme Leader Ren. Don't worry about the amnesia symptoms - I'm sure things will come back to you. We will help you every step of the way." 

Poe seemed to relax slightly at that, and Hux was enjoying every minute of it. The pilot was impressionable. Malleable. Absolute perfection for the time being. Hux knew reconditioning would come later, and he would oversee every step, just as promised. 

"Rest now. I'll be back later to accompany you to the Supreme Leader." 

Despite his thrill in all of this, duty called, and Mitaka could only handle the pressure of taking command of the bridge for so long. Poe offered him a small smile and Hux gave a nod, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards slightly when he responded with, "Thank you, General."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos keep me going! Please feel free to say hi or send me a fic request [on Tumblr](http://chromiumhearts.tumblr.com) too.


	4. Grand Introductions

It had taken Poe a while to regain his balance without his body wanting to give out under him, but there was a trooper there to (thankfully) grab onto whenever he felt wobbly. The person in the suit - man or woman he didn't know - was nice enough to help him out but not nice enough to stop holding their blaster. It made Poe wonder, but then he figured it was a part of the uniform and dismissed it. Every trooper shuffling around the halls dutifully carried their blasters, all looking like the perfect, faceless soldier. 

The trooper helped him into the refresher where he disrobed and took a long, hot shower. His body still ached and he was on doctors orders to take it easy, but Poe could never stay in one place for long. The water cascading over him was soothing and stole some of the pain away from his joints. Standing too long on the leg that had been broken still brought a slow throb of pain, so Poe sat on the shower floor to wash his hair. It was matted in places with blood and it took some effort to get it out. He didn't want to think about what he might have looked like when they first brought him aboard for treatment. 

He felt a little more human once he was showered and shaved, but after he had dressed in his standard uniform, he stared at himself for a long time in the mirror. Something didn't feel right. His hands smoothed down the sides of the tunic as if everything he touched was unfamiliar. He assumed it was because of the head injury General Hux and the doctor spoke to him about, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something just wasn't quite right. The tunic was a little large, cinched with the thick belt around his waist. He figured he must have lost weight while he was out, and maybe that was the reason for the mixed feelings. 

Poe was interrupted when Hux let himself into his quarters, giving him a small nod as Poe snapped out of himself and into attention. He looked much better in the First Order uniform than he did that ridiculous orange jumper. 

"Come along, Captain. The Supreme Leader wishes to see you." 

The entire walk to the throne room, Hux swore he could hear the double chambered beat of his heart in his ears. He was nervous about what Ren would think about his project, but the way the former Resistance pilot fell into step with him soothed his concerned mind. He looked and acted the part so far; the problem would be keeping him that way. 

When they entered the throne room and walked up, Hux didn't kneel, though Ren had come to accept that from him. Defiant to the end, not willing to accept someone like him was in the ultimate position of power. Instead, Hux looked to Poe and reminded him to kneel in front of the Supreme Leader, which he did without fight or argument. He eased himself down on the leg that hadn't broken, his head down respectfully and his arms at his sides. 

Hux could see Ren's eyebrow come up in a questioning fashion and dark eyes went from Poe to him. He didn't need to speak; Hux knew Ren all too well. He was probably reading minds the second the pair of them strode through the doors. 

"Supreme Leader, I wanted to bring Captain Dameron to you personally after his stay in our medical bay." He began, his voice true and sure, "I'm sure you are glad to see one of your best pilots returned to you." 

Ren was quiet for a moment and Poe twitched in place on the floor; Hux knew he was combing through the man's mind to see what Hux had gotten into. He knew that uncomfortable feeling; like small, sharp needles prodding at sensitive nerve endings, making them jump and quiver. It only got worse when Ren forced himself deeper into ones mind, or searched for something they were trying desperately to hide. 

Ren's lips curled up slightly at the edges, and a hand came up, pushing into the air. Poe reacted violently, crying out as his hands came up to the sides of his head. Hux didn't flinch, simply stood with his hands clasped behind his back as Poe writhed on his knees next to him. There was nothing anyone could do to prevent the splitting pain that Force mindreadinf caused. 

Ren stepped down from his perch on the throne, crossing the space between them with fluid and commanding strides. If Ren had nothing else, it was the way he drew attention to his very presence. He was intimidating, and once volatile and violent, though the outbursts had slowed considerably once he took the reins of the First Order. 

Hux beamed to himself, watching the two of them. 

"Captain," Ren addressed in a deep tone, "So glad to count you among the living." 

Poe looked up to the man standing over him, tears from the pain shooting through his head threatening to fall, but he stayed in his original position on his knees. Disobeying a respectful stance in front of the man that led the First Order was not something that Poe wanted to do. 

"You are second guessing yourself and your position within the First Order." He told Poe, "But you are in good hands with the General. We will retrain you if we must - you understand that reconditioning is a part of your training. If you second guess yourself again, you must report immediately to the General - he will see to it that those thoughts are curbed. The First Order does not tolerate weak men, Captain. Do I make myself clear?" 

Poe nodded weakly, and the pain in his mind slipped away immediately as Ren turned to Hux. He stayed in his position on the floor, breathing heavily as he fought to regain his composure. What the hell was that? Why did it feel like the Supreme Leader was crushing his skull from the inside, or was it just a side effect of the crash? 

"Excellent job, General. Or should I say, Grand Marshal." 

Hux's eyes flickered to Ren's face and he could barely hold back the smile that threatened his face. Instead, he finally genuflected, coming down to one knee in front of the man that he had once despised with a burning passion. Now that Ren seemed to understand his position of power a little better, they accepted one another's presence. They were no longer vying for the top spot at Snoke's right hand. With Ren in charge, Hux became that second in command, and every moment of that thrilled him. 

"Thank you, Supreme Leader." Was all he managed to get out, feeling a swell of pride blooming in his chest. 

Ren simply nodded, turning his back to the two and returning to his throne. Hux got up wordlessly and helped Poe to his feet. 

"Tomorrow we will begin your re-introduction to the First Order. You should still get all the rest you can. You're limping." 

Poe tried to adjust his gait so that he wasn't obviously limping, but Hux was studiously attentive to him. It was almost complimentary.


	5. Orange Flowers

The search for their pilot had gone on for weeks. Finn had rallied the Black Squadron to look for their leader but the search had been futile. They found his downed X-Wing with no sign of Poe or BB-8; just some ominous dried blood stains all over the cockpit. The footprints of those who had rescued Poe had long since disappeared in the marshy soil, and no one in the nearest town remembered a Resistance fighter coming for medical help or being brought in. 

There was no presence of the First Order to be found on the planet, but that wasn't to say they weren't around when Poe was last there. Or someone had it out for the pilot and had brought his X-Wing down themselves; it seemed impossible that the great Poe Dameron of the Resistance could even be defeated, but it was a reality they were facing now. 

Finally, Leia called off the search, and the devastated team returned, dejected and with heavy hearts. Finn didn't want to believe it - no one did. If someone went missing in the First Order they were forgotten about almost immediately. A casualty to be written off and a number to be deleted from the system. It devastated him to think that the Resistance was giving up on their best pilot, but faced with the facts, it was an ugly truth.

The memorial service was how Poe would have wanted it - not full of sadness and misery but instead with stories that brought about smiles and laughter. Stories of his accomplishments, the advice that he gave his fellow pilots, and how he and Finn had escaped the First Order in a stolen TIE fighter. Everyone knew the last story by heart, but it was still great to reminisce about the time the two of them stared down the entire First Order and refused to comply. To give up. It was the beginning of something beautiful. 

Since they had no body to bury, the Black Squadron, along with Finn and Rey, planted some orange flowers by a patch of land next to the hangar doors so they would always be reminded of him. Leia had watched them, holding her head regally as tears of loss spilled down her cheeks. He was her troublemaker, and she missed him dearly. Her heart ached with the realization of how small the Resistance was right now, but she promised all the souls of those long past that she would never let the spark die. They would end the First Order's reign of tyranny across the galaxy, even if it meant her own son had to die. She long believed there had still been light in him, but that seemed all but gone now, lost in a brutal mind filled with anger and hate. 

Finn visited the small plot of flowers every morning before anyone else was up, remembering Poe and his droid. Without him, Finn knew he would still be in the First Order, or worse. Heroes weren't supposed to vanish and he knew that Poe didn't just take off - high tailing it to another system for whatever reason. Poe loved the Resistance dearly, and had an unshakable loyalty.

The grief shook Finn to his very core, and he would sob as he looked at the flowers swaying gently in the pre-morning breeze, petals closed to the world until the sun came out. Getting everything out meant he could function for the rest of the day, though his heart and head felt heavy with grief. He knew this was war and that anyone could die at a moments notice, but not Poe. He could get out of anything. But not this time. 

There were still few Resistance fighters left, but new recruits were coming everyday, and with every recruit came a new hope that one day, the galaxy would be saved from the clutches of the First Order. Maybe they'd find another Poe Dameron in the crowd of prospective pilots, but they would never find _their_ captain. The one with the beautiful dark eyes, the dazzling smile, and the unwavering confidence. 

Nothing felt like success right now, however, running scared and hiding from the First Order. The only win for them was that the supplies Poe had organized had come through. Even in his death he was helping them, and he was much closer than they thought.


	6. Submit to Reconditioning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Reconditioning torture via electroshock treatment, angst, mentions of past child abuse

The first time Poe was sent to reconditioning, he had been a part of the First Order for about two months. His mind was still fuzzy for the most part, but Hux had been helpful at filling in most of the blanks for him. Had it not been for a trooper too curious for his own good, Hux was sure that Poe wouldn't have needed reconditioning at all. 

Poe's questions about what the trooper meant when he referred to him as 'rebel scum' and spoke about how they should have killed him when they first captured him went unanswered as he marched next to Hux. The taller man was silent, his jaw clenched slightly at the mentions of the trooper and his slip ups. Most knew better than to question First Order motives. Hux considered airlocking the trooper. 

As they walked into one of the reconditioning rooms, Hux nodded when he was addressed by the man and woman inside. Poe's eyes scanned the room as he was guided to a leather chair and seated. They strapped him down by the chest, upper arms, wrists and ankles, his dark eyes going wide and glancing to Hux as he struggled. 

"Relax, Captain. Reconditioning is a part of being in the First Order." Hux explained, feeling a slight pang deep in his gut. He pushed the strange feeling aside and strode over next to the pilot. 

"I don't know if I want to do this." Poe said, his voice beginning to sound desperate. 

Hux tisked. "You don't have a choice. But I will be here to take you back to your quarters after the procedure. It may make you feel a bit lightheaded." 

He patted the man on the shoulder as the woman came over, gently guiding his mouth open with a thumb and forefinger, allowing room for her to slip the rubber bit into Poe's mouth. 

"Try to relax." She said, placing a metal node on either side of his head. 

Hux visibly winced as the man turned the machine on, sending jolts of electricity through Poe's body, causing him to convulse. He remembered several times when he had been reconditioned, but luckily never like this. He would rather be beaten half to death than electrocuted until he couldn't think straight. But Poe was a First Order Captain now, and they couldn't lose him to curiosities about his former life. He convinced himself that this would help Poe, even as the man squeezed his eyes shut, uncontrollable tears flowing as he shouted past the rubber bit in pain. 

When the electric shocks paused, the woman would read out a series of numbers and words to Poe; "13. Binary. 26. Blast. 31. Shutter. 42. Portal." Over and over again. The codes were relatively new and meant to render the receiver more malleable and impressionable after hearing them, helping them clear their head and focus at the task on hand. Whether or not it would work on Poe remained to be seen. 

When the process was done, Poe was slumped in the chair and barely conscious. The woman removed the rubber from his mouth and gently dabbed at his chin to clean the excess saliva that ran from the man's lips. Hux felt that strange pang in his side again and almost held a hand to it before stopping himself. 

He helped Poe to his feet and slung his arm over his shoulder, balancing the majority of the man's weight as Poe drifted in and out. 

"Come, now. Back to your quarters for some rest." He said, his voice much softer than it usually was. 

The man and woman glanced to Hux but didn't dare say a word, not wanting to incur the wrath of the Supreme Leader's second in command. _Gentle_ and _caring_ were usually not words that came to ones mind when they thought of him. 

Hux grabbed a firm hold of Poe around the waist and began to make the trek back to the man's quarters. He had decided a month ago that Poe no longer required a guard outside the door as it seemed he had settled in and wasn't just faking everything to escape. Ren would have known if Hux's experiment didn't work the first time he searched Poe's mind. Hux was confident that they wouldn't need Ren's intervention on Poe's mind as long as the reconditioning worked, and it did have a ninety-seven percent accuracy rating, which Hux was very proud of. 

By the time they had gotten to Poe's quarters, he had started to put less weight on Hux, but he was still terribly uncoordinated. Hux propped him against the wall as he entered in his security code to enter Poe's room, then all but dragged him inside and managed, barely, to get Poe on the bed. 

As he fell back onto the regulation bedding, Poe latched onto Hux and almost made him fall on top of him. The redhead barely caught himself before standing back up again and straightening out his uniform. 

"Everything hurts." Poe finally muttered, his nerve endings feeling like they'd been exposed and then lit on fire. He didn't even remember **why** he had received the reconditioning and it took him the whole walk back to remember Hux's name. His brain rattled off the numbers and words over and over.

"I'm sure it does." Hux replied, trying his best not to sound too sympathetic. "Rest, and I'm sure you'll feel fine in the morning." 

"You've never had it done. You don't know." Poe's speech was slightly slurred, but the accusation was all the same. 

Hux's brow creased slightly. He contemplated slapping him, but Poe could barely keep his eyes open. He probably didn't even understand the implications of what he had said. 

"No. I've had worse." Hux admitted without realizing. He took a long pause, relishing in the freeing feeling of the statement. It was something he wasn't used to. 

Poe grabbed for Hux's gloved hand, fingertips brushing the man's wrist and palm before falling back to the bed. It had clearly taken considerable effort. 

"Tell me about how much it hurts when you're vomiting blood all over the floor. Or stitching your own wounds." Hux's voice trembled but his chest but shoulders felt so much lighter. "Tell me how much it hurts when you're so hungry you can barely move because of your stomach cramps. Or how numb you feel after being kept awake for days. Cold and alone with _no one_ to care for you." 

Hux's whole body was shaking now, but he doubted the bleary eyed man on the bed could see that. He wasn't even sure he was listening to him, but the rant was so cathartic, Hux couldn't stop himself. 

"My own damn mother couldn't even offer me any comfort. Never a back rub when I was ill. Never a hug when I was sad. Compassion was met with a swift hand. Or worse. You lived a good life, Dameron, you know nothing about pain." 

He had been pacing, looking like something akin to a rancor waiting to come out of its pen. Hux spared a glance in Poe's direction and dark eyes stared back. They were welled with unshed tears and sympathy. Hux turned away quickly. He could feel those damned soulful eyes practically burning a hole straight through hmm. 

"I'm sorry." Poe's voice was barely a whisper in the empty room, but it was feeling all too claustrophobic for Hux. 

"Go to sleep, Captain." He said, regaining what was left of his composure before walking to the door and letting himself out. 

As he made his way to his own quarters, he couldn't stop thinking of the way Poe stared at him. How he said he was _sorry_ for what Hux had gone through as a child and young adult. His jaw clenched so tight that his teeth ached. Why was he feeling like this? Perhaps he needed to go for some reconditioning himself and have these odd feelings stripped from him. 

Hux had never understood the way Ren used to lash out in uncontrollable anger or emotion, but he certainly understood why he did now. It was a part of his catharsis, Hux presumed, but he wouldn't break things or get violent. Instead, he slipped into his quarters and poured himself some Corellian whiskey to take to bed with him. The trembling was still noticeable in his fingertips. He sighed. The whiskey would make him forget, even if it was just for the evening.


	7. Touch-Starved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: It gets a little smutty.

Many months passed. Some days were longer than others when friends thought about their fallen comrade. The Resistance had slowly moved on and found success in recruiting. The spark was still there, and soon they were going to be able to light the fire that would burn the First Order down, just like Poe had wanted. 

No new pilot would ever be as good as Poe Dameron, but people far and wide knew his name. His legacy. He had joined the ranks of those like Han Solo, the redeemed smuggler, and Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. Kes Dameron thought he was the last living individual in their family and the realization of such had been devastating, but knowing his sons name would live on eased his pain. But those people who told his story had no idea that the First Order's best pilot and the former Resistance's was one in the same. 

Poe had racked up an impressive resume with the First Order; a high elimination count in battle, and a man other pilots went to in order to talk tactics. He had quickly become one of the Supreme Leader's favorites; Poe worked on his TIE Silencer and added upgrades that earned him the highest of praises from Ren, which in turn looked favorable for Hux as well. The hull had been reenforced to withstand more damage, proton torpedoes had been given more power, and his primary weapon had a slower cool down time. Even some of the Order's top mechanics learned a thing or two. 

The Grand Marshal had been following Poe's latest exploits during a resources mission on his datapad when a hail came from his quarters doors. He was proud that Poe had taken so easily to the job and hadn't had to be reconditioned again. He sighed and put the datapad down, crossing the room silently. It was late, and he was dressed only in his issued robes, cinched tight around his thin frame. 

"Do you have any idea how late it is to be visiting -- Captain?" Hux's reprimand was cut short when he saw the dark eyed man in front of him with a curious smile on his face. 

"I know what time it is, Grand Marshal, and I hope you'll forgive my intrusion." 

Hux almost missed the sass that the pilot used to throw his way - though he didn't miss being called 'Hugs' at all. He was polite now; eloquent and well spoken. It was refreshing. 

Poe held out a small wooden box that was varnished and had small, ornate etchings on it. Hux looked to him for a moment, a brow raised slightly. Poe opened the box to reveal exotic teas, some of Hux's favorites, and some he had never tried before. The gesture had Hux wordless for longer than he cared to acknowledge. Usually he just stuck to the bitter tea that came in the supply shipments but this - this was _indulgent_ by First Order standards. 

"I found it in a small shop on the last planet we were on. I... figured you might like it." Poe closed the box and handed it to Hux, who took it but was still utterly surprised with the gesture. 

When was the last time anyone had given him a gift? He remembered once several years ago when Phasma found out his birthday (she'd browsed records without permission, but he had forgiven her) where she gifted him with a beautifully carved dagger. It was replaced after a while with his monomolecular blade he kept in his sleeve, but the dagger remained on prominent display in his quarters. One of the very few things that made the room look a little more like him and less regulation. 

Part of him wondered if he had broken Poe too much during the reconditioning, but his wild thoughts stopped when Poe leaned forward and pressed his lips to Hux's own. He almost dropped the small box in his hands, but then Poe's body was against him and he was moving backwards into his quarters. Instead of stopping him, he allowed Poe inside. 

This was a bad idea. 

But Hux didn't care. 

"Captain Dameron, what do you think you're doing?" He questioned when the kiss broke, trying to hide the slight waver in his voice. 

Poe shucked off his officers jacket and left it where it fell on the floor, taking the box of tea from Hux's hands and putting it on the nearest surface to him. Poe grinned at him and caught Hux's lips again, stubble scraping against his face (he had reprimanded Poe several times about it until he realized he sort of _liked_ the way he looked with it) and Hux caught himself in a gasp. 

"Are all flyboys as foolhardy as you? Coming to a Grand Marshal's quarters late at night..." Hux couldn't finish his sentence. Poe's hand had slipped under his robes and his fingers traced over the front of his boxer briefs. 

It wasn't until he felt the touch of another that Hux realized how touch-starved he was -- how every graze and brush made his whole body feel like it was alight. He didn't even know how much control he had lost until he was pulling away from a desperate kiss, breathless. He could barely think straight just from a couple kisses; it had been countless ages since anyone had shown him affection like this. 

"No flyboy is like me, Armitage." He murmured, lips moving to his neck but careful not to mark him where his uniform wouldn't hide. 

Hux closed his eyes, hands grasping at Poe's waist to pull him closer, flush against his body. The heat of the others body against his made his head swim; he focused on the press of Poe's lips to his pale skin and how his skin responded with goosebumps. 

"You should expect a reprimand for this." He said, a small smile ghosting across his lips. 

"Only if you give it." Poe said against Hux's skin, and he could feel the shiver that wound its way through the Grand Marshal's body. He loved having that effect on him. 

He slipped his hand beneath the waistband of Hux's boxer briefs and fingers wrapped deftly around his hardening cock, grip firm. Hux's fingertips sank hard into Poe's hips and he bit his bottom lip to keep from making any noise. How long had it been since he had been with another? He could barely remember the last time he had shore leave; enough time to meet someone in a bar and have a quick fuck in a quiet back room -- she was twi'lek if he remembered correctly -- but all those thoughts went blank as Poe's lips slipped from his neck and he knelt down in front of him. 

Hux straightened up and looked down at Poe as he slipped his boxer briefs down just enough to free his cock, glancing up at him as he bit his lip. 

"I guess I have a thing for commanding officers." Poe said, grasping Hux firmly and making him gasp, "But if you won't tell, neither will I." 

Hux didn't even have time to respond before Poe's warm mouth enveloped him, causing him to groan more loudly than he anticipated. He grabbed at Poe's hair, pulling just enough to illicit a moan that rolled through Poe's body and straight into his own. He moved his hips up to meet his mouth and Poe just seemed to relax into it, eager to please. His hands slipped up Hux's thighs and around to his ass, grabbing it firmly and pulling him even closer, so close Hux could feel Poe's nose brush against his skin. 

"Oh, Maker..." Hux muttered, rocking his hips with Poe's movements. 

How long had it been since he felt this good? Like every nerve was singing wherever Poe graced his skin; his mouth was so hot around him he could barely focus. He was surprised he was even still standing when his orgasm seemed to sneak up out of nowhere. His stomach tightened and everything went white; Hux didn't know he was panting Poe's name like some kind of mantra until his mind started to come back down from its high, his whole body trembling where he stood. 

Hux spared a glance down at Poe as he pulled off of him, lips wet and swollen. He swiped his thumb over his bottom lip in an attempt to clean himself up a little when he caught the other man's eyes and grinned. Poe stood, kissing him again with fervor, sliding his tongue into his mouth. Hux groaned softly at the taste of himself on the others tongue and wasted no time undoing his pants and sliding his hand inside. He could feel Poe's body tremble with anticipation and then slight relief as Hux wrapped his fingers around his cock, immediately beginning to move his wrist quickly. 

Poe arched against him causing the kiss to break, and Hux went immediately for the skin on the juncture of Poe's neck and shoulder, a spot that would be hidden under any uniform. He sucked and bit at the skin there, listening to Poe's noises of contentment and feeling the slide of his hands down his sides to rest at his hips, keeping him close. 

Hux worked his way up Poe's neck to his jaw, nuzzling slightly and drinking in the feeling of another person whimpering under his ministrations. It had been far too long. Hux ached to touch and be touched, and Poe had lit some kind of flame inside of him. 

"Don't stop," Poe panted, one hand moving to grip Hux's shoulder and go in for another deep but slightly sloppy kiss. 

Hux didn't mind. He just focused on the slide of his hand, the tease of his thumb around the head of his cock and the way his whole body seemed to quake with pleasure when he twisted his wrist just right. 

Suddenly Poe broke the kiss and rest his forehead on Hux's shoulder, hips moving frantically with his hand. He muffled the sound of his orgasm in Hux's shoulder, groaning out his name and a couple curse words between gasps and pants. 

When Hux was sure he was satisfied, he pulled his hand out of Poe's uniform pants and wiped it on the fabric with a small smirk. 

"Good thing droids do the laundry." He mused, "Thank you for the tea. I appreciate it." 

Poe nodded as he caught his breath, doing up his pants and attempting to straighten himself up. Luckily the tunic of his uniform hid the stain that Hux left behind. 

"You're welcome. Have a good night, Grand Marshal." 

Poe closed the space between them and brushed his lips against Hux's once more, unable to stop the smile. 

"You too, flyboy." Hux murmured against his lips, allowing him one more kiss before sending him on his way. 

Afterward he crawled into bed, staring at the ceiling of his quarters in a dazed bliss. The Grand Marshal and a rebel pilot; it was an odd pairing if one thought about it too hard. Hux didn't mind though - he would take the affection as he could get it, but he was quite glad it was from Poe.


	8. Love Too Closely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Talk of past child abuse

Soon enough, it felt like Poe had always been a part of the First Order. He managed to make some friends despite the troops reservations about him (none of which were spoken ever since that one trooper got airlocked), and Hux had been receiving more praise than he ever thought possible from the Supreme Leader. The fact that praise even existed from that man was nothing short of astounding. So shocking had it been, that even Phasma noticed there were less outbursts from the usually moody Ren. Hux had still been thrown across the room or onto a console more than he cared to count, but at least he wasn't strangled into submission any longer. 

He also hated Ren's asinine decisions, but that was neither here nor there. 

Hux had also found an unlikely partner in Poe; the man was exhilarating and thoughtful, brave and ambitious. The best part of all was that he seemed to only have eyes for Hux, which he appreciated given that he never thought highly of himself in the looks department. 

They didn't have a lot of time to themselves in between demanding shifts, but they always managed to work each other into their busy schedules. They would meet in Hux's quarters, since it looked less conspicuous to possible prying eyes that a Captain was visiting the Grand Marshal and not the other way around. 

This time when Poe visited, he hadn't even taken the time to get out of his flight suit, his helmet tucked under his arm as he let himself in to Hux's quarters. The other man was sitting at his desk, going over some accounts and confirming the information with the datapad in his hand. 

"You're off the clock, come on, put that stuff away." Poe chided softly, setting his helmet down on a nearby table and ordering some hot water to the room. He knew Hux would appreciate having a hot tea and some time to relax. 

"A Grand Marshal's work is never done." Hux said, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Not when I have Ren breathing down my neck." 

Poe frowned and made his way over to Hux, placing a kiss on his lips. He took off his gloves and unzipped his flight suit halfway, tying the sleeves around his waist. Then he slipped behind Hux and began to work on the knots in his shoulders. Hux lowered his head slightly and let an appreciative groan escape from his lips. Poe worked the muscles as if he had been a masseuse his entire life instead of a pilot, but Hux deeply adored how good he was with his hands. 

"Damn those skilled hands of yours."

Poe smiled. "A Grand Marshal's work is done for the night." Poe muttered, eyes glancing to the door as a droid brought in the hot water he had requested. "I'll make you a tea, rub your shoulders and you can relax." 

Hux had to wonder what he had done to deserve the kindness of another human being. His whole life he had been treated as if he were a stray; beaten down both physically and emotionally until there was nothing left but a husk. A husk that was molded and created into a bigger, grander version of his former self; a domineering but self-loathing individual. Brendol Hux's bastard son, the product of a loveless night with a man who took everything he wanted and his poor mother. That's it. Just a bastard child without a soul to care in the world. Someone who didn't deserve the doting attention or affection of anyone else, destined to die - probably too young - all alone. 

Poe stood and grasped Hux's wrist gently, pulling off his gloves one at a time. He set them on the desk and took Hux's right hand, pulling him to the small, steel-blue sofa nearby. He worked Hux's tunic off before sitting him down. Poe prepared the tea to Hux's liking and passed it to him in his favourite thermal mugs; the ones that always kept the tea hot no matter how long he forgot about it. 

Poe gave pause when he could see purple blotches sticking out from the sides of the black undershirt Hux wore and his brows creased. He sat down next to him and moved the material aside slightly to reveal a large bruise, fingers barely ghosting over it but Hux reacted with a soft hiss. 

"What is this?" 

"It is quite obviously a bruise." Hux replied casually, taking a sip of his tea. 

"I mean who did this to you?" Poe pushed up Hux's shirt to reveal a litany of bruises and old scars that marred the otherwise pale flesh. 

Hux tugged his shirt down and put his mug on the table in front of him. "It isn't any of your concern." 

Poe raised his eyebrows, "Oh, is that so? You're... you're my..." 

"I'm your _what_ , Poe?" 

"You're my lover - and I care about you. I'm asking because someone hurt you and that isn't acceptable." 

Hux's face fell slightly, shock seeming to settle into the pit of his stomach. Of course, he had been with others before, but he had never been considered someone's lover before. Is that what they were? What this was? Is that why Poe looked after his well being?

"It is acceptable when the one inflicting these bruises is your Supreme Leader. You can't exactly ask him to stop acting like a child having a tantrum now can you?"

Poe bit his lip. "And the scars?" 

"I told you once before about my... upbringing." He bristled. 

It took a moment for Poe to piece it all together. Then, he nodded slowly. "Sorry, I forgot... but there has to be something to do about the Supreme Leader, isn't there? I can't stand the thought of him doing that to you. It-it makes me so mad!" 

He felt his skin get hot under Poe's gaze and the fury that built up within the other at the thought of the abuse. He was embarrassed, cheeks flaring up with redness as much as he tried to suppress the foreign feelings. 

_Never love too closely, boy._ His father would say, _Love is a weakness, and those who know that will exploit it._

Hux still remembered the sting of the backhand that day when he asked his father about whether or not he loved his mother. 

_"I would never love a worthless whore that cursed me with a bastard!" He'd screamed, dragging him to his room and throwing the child inside like he was a rag doll, slamming the door behind him._

Inside, Hux was panicking and he didn't realize his hands had curled into fists until Poe took one, uncurling it and threading their fingers together. Hux's hands were clammy. Poe's were comforting, a calloused thumb running in slow circles on Hux's skin. 

"Are you in love with me?" Hux's voice was unmistakably demanding; strained, and he regretted it, but Poe's expression didn't change. 

Instead, he smiled. "What kind of a stupid question is that?" 

For a moment, Hux felt vindicated in his bristling, but not for long. 

"Yes, Armitage. I'm in love with you."

With a few words, the walls he had kept up for years to avoid any kind of hurt or pain, beyond what he put himself through forgetting to eat and working long hours, was crumbling. Before he could stop himself, he was falling into Poe's arms, trembling. He wasn't deserving of this. In an instant he was being held securely, like the weight of those arms around him could stop the universe from imploding in on itself. The protector suddenly the protected. 

He was loved, and it was going to destroy him.


	9. Don't Let Go

Hux and Poe exchanged glances as they met one another in one of the hangar bays, a small group of troopers standing at attention before the Grand Marshal. Poe had fallen into line with them, his black flight suit a stark contrast amidst the sea of white bustling about the hangar. He looked damn good, too, and Hux's eyes lingered slightly longer than they should have. 

"The mission is simple; we have been picking up transmission signals from Yavin 4. This hasn't been an active rebel base since the time of the Great War, but the sector has been quiet until now. We are to go planet side and investigate, recover any tech we can, and return. Is that clear?" 

The troopers all responded non verbally, saluting the man in front of them. 

Hux usually didn't go on planet side missions as he was too busy caring for the First Order's other needs, but the Supreme Leader had insisted. His Knights were going to be visiting and Hux was more than happy to hide away from them if they were at all as temperamental as the First Order leader. 

"I'll see you planet side, Captain. Make sure your TIEs hold the perimeter once we have landed - and shoot anything that isn't First Order." 

Poe saluted Hux too, but gave him a playful wink when no one else was looking. Hux remained expressionless, always the perfect professional as he turned from Poe to climb aboard the transport. 

Yavin 4 was muggy and the sun was already hot by the time they landed. As Poe landed his fighter and disembarked, Hux had broken the troops off and sent them each with their own platoon leader to begin scouting the land. While it was easy to see that transmissions were being made, it was hard to pinpoint where exactly on the planet surface they were being made from. They had narrowed it down to a couple mile radius that the troops would search. 

"Right, you'll help me, then." He told Poe, beginning to make his way to the old ruins the rebels had once called a base. 

"I don't know the first thing about what you are looking for, so I guess I'll just act as backup." Poe said, holding his blaster close as he trudged through the thick greenery to the steps of the ruins. 

"Good idea, you and I both know you're better in the sky than on the ground." Hux taunted with a small smile, earning an eye roll from Poe. 

"You and I both know I'm not a one-trick pony, _Grand Marshal_." 

Poe's voice was like a smooth Corellian whiskey, all but groaning out Hux's rank because he knew how worked up it got him. He watched Hux's cheeks tinge pink as they stopped at the top of the ruins steps. 

"You're asking for another reprimand about professionalism, aren't you?" 

Poe's grin was wicked. "Only if you give it." 

Hux's knees could have buckled right there with the shiver that slid through his body, teasing at nerve endings. He bit his bottom lip a little and looked at Poe, wanting nothing more than to kiss him until he was panting, but there was work to be done. 

"Wait here. I'm going to do a quick scan and see if I can pick anything up. I'll call if I need anything." 

Hux slipped into the stone structure and Poe stood obediently outside, waiting for the next command. There was something familiar about this place, something that itched at the back of his mind, but he couldn't put his finger on it. 

Inside, Hux made his way through the dark halls, happy that it was a little bit cooler inside. He needed a little bit of a cool down, and it was all thanks to Poe Dameron. He shook his head but let a smile grace his features in the dark. The floors were slick with moisture and moss had grown in some corners as he made his way to the mouth of the hall that opened up into a larger room. Every so often a tree root had broken through the stone and threatened to twist an ankle, but Hux's steps were delicate; deliberate but not quiet. 

"Stop right there." Came a voice from the other side of the room, and Hux immediately froze. 

Stepping out of the darkness was a man that Hux recognized - he used to be one of their own until he defected and made a mess of one of the hangars. He'd killed eight troopers in one go with no shred of regret. 

FN-2187. 

"Ah, the traitor." Hux snapped, lifting his hands up slowly to show his blaster was still on his hip. "Call the troops!" He bellowed, knowing the stone walls would bring the message to Poe.

Finn rushed Hux when his attention wasn't fully on him, hitting him in the chest with his shoulder and sending him sprawling to the floor. In one move Hux had the dagger that he kept hidden in his sleeve out, slashing the man and grazing his arm and shoulder enough to draw blood. They wrestled on the floor, both struggling for control before the hiss of a lightsaber drew their attention, the room alight with its soft glow. 

"Drop it or lose your hand." Rey threatened, and Hux had no choice but to obey. He was outnumbered and while he was adept at hand-to-hand combat, the former stormtrooper was more formidable, even without the assistance of the Resistance girl. 

Finn got to his feet and tugged Hux up with him, wrenching his arms behind his back and holding them there with one hand around his wrists and a blaster muzzle jammed against the base of his skull. Hux let out a snarl and fought him despite the threat against his head. 

As the footfalls of soldiers running their way could be heard, Finn dragged Hux back against some metal crates, protecting himself and using Hux as a shield. The footfalls stopped short of the door; the others in the hallway were assessing what they could see in the light produced by the lightsaber. Poe took in the sight of Hux, lip bleeding and hair mussed from the scuffle with a blaster to his head. He pushed down the feeling of panic and shifted it into adrenaline. 

"This is Captain Poe Dameron of the First Order. I have ten troops ready to shoot and kill and I only see two of you." 

Rey and Finn exchanged glances, but Hux didn't dare move a muscle. 

"Poe Dameron is dead." Finn replied coldly, and in the dark hallway, Poe's eyebrows raised. 

"I'm going to step forward into the room. My blaster is holstered." He informed them, holding up his hands and taking several steps in so Finn and Rey could both see him. 

They grinned at the sight of their former pilot, very much alive and well. 

Finn, forgetting about Hux for a moment, let his guard down and dropped the weapon from his head, stepping out from behind him. 

"Poe! It's really you! You're alive!" 

In an instant, Poe had his blaster in his hand and fired a non-lethal shot into the man's shoulder, causing him to drop his weapon. Hux moved just as fast, picking it up and backing away from the pair with his blaster trained on Rey. Finn had let out a cry of pain when he was hit, but like the trooper he was (and he would always be a trooper to Hux), he composed himself and stood again. 

"Don't talk to me like you know me." Poe snapped, eyes on the pair as Hux slowly slid back to his place at his side. 

"We do know you, Poe." Rey said softly, "Don't you remember us? We're your friends." 

"We escaped the First Order, Poe. You and me! We flew a TIE fighter back to Jakku." Finn added, his voice strained. 

Poe's brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't know you... I don't keep any _rebel scum_ as company." He sneered. 

"If I may," Hux spoke loudly, commanding the room as he so often did, "now is not the time for asinine stories. Your transmitters led us here and it is not at all a surprise to find Rebels here again. I assume you two are alone so surrender now and we will see to it that we are accommodating." 

Rey and Finn exchanged glances. There were ten troopers, an angry ginger, and a pilot who clearly thought he was in the First Order. Finn felt the overwhelming feeling of guilt deep in his stomach; he should have searched more instead of standing around a bunch of flowers and crying. 

"I'm sorry, Poe." Rey said with a deep sadness in her voice. 

Before Poe could chastise them again, he was being flung backwards into the troopers behind him by an invisible force, taking the first two of them down with him. The room lit up with blaster fire from both sides as the two rebels made their escape, slipping down into a nearby tunnel system. 

One of the troopers helped Poe to his feet but he brushed them off, "Go after them!" He ordered, and the room cleared as the troopers followed his command without question. 

When the mayhem ceased around him, he searched in the darkness for Hux, finding him sprawled on the floor not far from him. He was moaning in pain but Poe couldn't see with the low light what was wrong. He scooped him up, Hux nearly deadweight in his arms as he made his way to the entrance of the ruins where the sun baked the ancient stones. 

Once light graced them, Poe immediately knew what he was seeing was bad. Blood soaked through Hux's uniform and he was losing what colour he had in his skin. Poe swore under his breath and made a run for his TIE, knowing he was going to have to make due with what he found in the medkits. 

He didn't realize how heavily he was breathing and trembling until he had set Hux down near his TIE. He wasn't going to lose him to the Rebels, not on a damn research mission and not bleeding out. 

He only left Hux's side to retrieve the medkit, pulling off his gloves and noticing with a sick lurch of his stomach that blood stained them. He knelt down next to Hux, pulling his tunic open and pushing up the black undershirt that was sopping with blood. 

"It's bad," Hux said with a breathless sigh, "Do you -- remember your medical..." 

"Yes, yes I remember the medical training."

Poe nodded, perspiration beginning to dot his hairline. The medical training was one of the few things that had stuck in his mind other than Hux's affinity for teas, the way he liked it when Poe nipped at the pulse point in his neck, and of course everything to do with flying. 

He opened the medkit and grabbed the bacta patches, ripping one open. He pressed it over the wound and Hux cried out in pain, guilt hitting Poe right in his chest. The patch would staunch the bleeding, but without medical attention, he hesitated to think about what would become of his lover. Infection, or worse. 

"We need to get you back _now_." He said, pulling his helmet on over his head and leaving Hux reluctantly to prepare his TIE fighter. 

"We need to get those two. The Supreme Leader--" Hux argued, but Poe wasn't having any of it. 

"I'm not losing you. I don't care what the Supreme Leader wants." 

Once the TIE was ready to go, he gingerly loaded Hux into the spare seat, securing him before slipping into the pilots seat. The extra spot in the TIE was usually reserved for a gunner; someone who knew how to actually shoot instead of a man who had barely flown in his life that was struggling to breathe without screaming in agony. Hux remembered Poe sending a transmission to the other TIEs in the sky and the fleet, but what he was saying was muddled in his brain as he slipped into unconsciousness.


	10. Not An Easy Kill

When Hux woke again he was nauseated from the painkillers, his body feeling like a weight was pressing down on it. Then, he felt fingers in his, and he felt that calloused thumb sliding along his knuckles. 

"Poe." He murmured, his voice sounding hoarse and not at all like his own. 

He slowly opened his eyes, and the blurry world around him began to come into focus. His head pounded as the too-bright light filtered in, causing him to squint against it. What he assumed would be a medical bay on a star destroyer instead looked foreign, unrecognizable. Poe didn't seem worried though. 

"You're finally awake." He said with a small smile, "Its been days. That blaster shot was worse than we thought. You've been in bacta tanks. You lost a lot of blood. It... it was touch and go for a bit." 

"Hm, but I'm not an easy kill. Not for the rebels." Hux mused. "Where are we?" 

"Dantooine." Poe replied, reaching up to move a piece of hair off of Hux's forehead. 

"Ah," Hux said, then mulled the answer over in his fuzzy feeling brain for a moment. Then, he sat up fast, cried out when a shot of pain seemed to go straight through him, and fell back against the pillows. "Dantooine?!"

"You left the fleet? You went rogue?" Hux was surprised, and alarmed that they were so far out from the First Order's reach that a call to them wouldn't be received. "What have you done?" 

Poe sighed. "I remember things, Armitage. I've been remembering pieces... coming to me like dreams here and there... I wasn't always with the First Order. I used to be a part of the Resistance." 

Hux's heart started to beat harder, but his face remained emotionless. He looked down to where their hands were still joined, perplexed. Why did he stay if he started to remember? Was it fragmented? Disjointed, like pieces of a dream that never felt too real? Or was it because of their love? 

"Then why are you still here with me, unless you plan to take me back to your rebels once I can stand on my own?" 

Hux's voice was accusatory. He knew his fate if he ever ended up in the hands of the enemy. If he was lucky, it would be a death sentence that was carried out quickly. If luck wasn't on his side - Brendol Hux may not have been the worst person he's ever known in his life. 

"We're not going back to the Resistance," Poe said reluctantly, "And we aren't going back to the First Order, either." 

Hux bristled. "The First Order is all I have, you can't take that from me!" 

Years. _Years_ he had been with the First Order. Since he was a child and his father insisted that they needed children for 'something new' they were trying. He remembered his mother screaming, grabbing onto Brendol's arm but he pushed her back. Troopers held her firm as she cried and fought with all her might. Hux let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and his jaw set. One day he might grind his teeth so hard they'd break, he thought, opting to dig his blunt nails into his palms instead on the hand that Poe wasn't holding. 

"I'm not taking you from it. I'm _saving_ you from it. You were born into a cult, Armitage. To a man who didn't give a shit about you no matter how hard you tried or what you achieved. You work for a tyrant who uses you as his personal punching bag when he decides to have a tantrum. You've been brainwashed, punished with physical and psychological abuse - that's no way to live. It doesn't matter how long you've been in it. You don't have to be any longer. You can be free." 

Hux was shaking. With anger or fear he wasn't quite sure, but the tremors surged through him. He tried to pull his hand free from Poe's but he only held tighter. Hux began to panic, his eyes burning with tears that he wouldn't allow to fall, and his heart racing. He couldn't allow Poe to see him cry; to see him as something weak and incapable of handling his emotions. 

"You were born into a cult." He snapped desperately, "Your parents both worked for the Rebellion. They tried to free my planet when I was just a child - they killed more than they saved. The rebels are a terrorist organization! They--"

Poe finally shushed him, "We've both done a lot of terrible things - and we both clearly come from opposite sides. When you get out of here I want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me everything. I want to know why I left the Resistance and joined the First Order. I want to know who those people on Yavin 4 were to me. You'll tell me." 

Hux rolled his eyes and again tried to take his hand back to himself, but Poe held onto him tighter. He hadn't been demanding like this before and part of Hux worried that the 'old Poe' was coming back. That he remembered more than he was saying. 

"Just leave now. You will when you find out the truth." 

Poe worried his lip with his teeth for a moment, "Whatever happened - I still fell in love with you, Armitage." 

"And it never would have happened if I didn't decide we could use you for our own gain. Brainwashed and conditioned for the First Order. You didn't remember me. What I've done." Hux looked away from Poe, feeling ridiculous that he had ever let it get this far, but in his heart he knew he also didn't want to stop. 

"And I had the choice to leave you in a bacta tank when I started to remember things and search out answers but I didn't. Neither of us are perfect. But we have one another." 

Hux looked to Poe for a long moment and the pilot stood, lingering close before pressing the gentlest of kisses to Hux's lips. His eyes fluttered shut and he drank in the feeling of being truly loved - even if it was obtained through some of the cruelest ways. 

Hux gave the slightest of smiles when they parted, and Poe gently ran his fingers through his hair before sitting back down next to the bed. It was then that Hux realized he had to make a decision - leave the First Order - something he'd known all his life, or leave behind the first person who ever willingly showed affection to him. A man who loved him despite his flaws; who took care of him when he worked too hard and forgot to eat. Who thought about him while he was planet side during a mission. He knew he was an idiot for choosing emotion, but the affection-starved man from Arkanis craved more than the First Order could offer him. 

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "Poe, close your eyes. Relax. You must be so tired. Breathe..." He took his lovers hand in his, waiting for him to do as he was told. "13. Binary. 26. Blast. 31. Shutter. 42. Portal." 

Poe didn't move for a long moment. Hux was barely breathing, catching himself only when Poe opened his eyes again. He smiled faintly at him, but there was confusion in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, what were we talking about?" 

Hux let go of his hand to cup his face, thumb running over the stubble on his jaw. "You were saying how we were going to find us jobs smuggling. I don't think it's a great idea." 

He laughed, "You're the brains, I'm the pilot? Seems like we could make a pretty good living if we didn't care what we were hauling. I mean, it's worth considering." 

Poe would never be the man the Resistance remembered; under the thumb of a First Order Grand Marshal and desperately in love with him. A man that could, with a collection of words, make things disappear from Poe's mind. And he was a man who was the Supreme Leader's second in command - likely presumed kidnapped or killed at Poe's hand. No one would be looking for him. 

When Hux was finally given a clean bill of health, leaving the Dantoonie medbay with little more than some scarring, Poe was already planning where they would go next and what kind of jobs they could actually get. Smuggling was still on the table, but neither of them wanted to fall in with something insane like the Guavian Death Gang. Hux on the other hand was planning to keep Poe no matter what, silently pocketing several strong narcotics from the medbay as he left. The code words worked for now, but reconditioning was still a thought that had never left Hux's mind. It was terribly useful; and he wouldn't hesitate if it meant he could keep what he had. 

After all, Poe was the perfect man when he didn't remember his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been considering writing a sequel to this; drop a comment and let me know if you'd like to see it!
> 
> Please feel free to say hi or send me a fic request [on Tumblr](http://chromiumhearts.tumblr.com) too!


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